Easter

I don't like holidays anymore.

It's been 4 months since Kim has been gone and I still wait for her to call...it feels just like when she worked in Maryland. I wouldn’t hear from her for a while then out of the blue she’d call or text me to see how i was.  I miss a lot of what we had, not just the good but the bad days.  No one could fight quite like she could, and we could have a knock down drag out argument then go eat dinner.

I know a lot of people saw Kim as a difficult person and trust me she was….but it was the stubbornness that was just as endearing as the fact that she would do anything within her power to help anyone.

I’d been back and forth with this lately.  Some times I would have good days and seemed like things were going better…sometimes things would be bad and I felt like I was dragging a bit…sometimes I think the worlds crushing down upon me and I’m not sure I can I can handle it all, those are the days I just want to retreat back into myself because at least then things can’t get me.

I think this post rambled more than I usually do…but today is a mix between a bad day and a crushing day….I did have some fun in the PICU but mostly because I spent the majority of the day with a 21month old watching buzz lightyear and reading charts….Hard to be in a bad mood when a kid hands you his froggy.

Until next time here’s something to think about,

What’s your most effective coping mechanism…is it failsafe?